how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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