FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What a dumb baby whore.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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