Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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