i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Farmville is her only friend.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
