Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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