yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
