She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she peed on how many people?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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