That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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