I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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