She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize