I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
