dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
