We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
