me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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