I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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