Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
