Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He did a backflip because drugs
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