Are we in a gay sports bar?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
