Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Jerry, you need to find god
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
