Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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