You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize