The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
