I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
