If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i out mim tonsoeep
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