Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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