I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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