All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
