Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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