Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
