real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
