I'm gonna have a badass scar
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
