I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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