i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
There's even glitter on my cock...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize