The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
