But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
