We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
