I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
