I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
only if we run a train.
done.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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