I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
