Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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