why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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