Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
