At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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