JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize