In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
