theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
