How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i drank out of a bidet.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
