That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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