Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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