Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize