So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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