Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
