My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
