Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
