new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
