Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
