I'm eating all of the evidence.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
