I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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